Adventures in Teenage Baking: A Failure's Frosting

Grr. Frosting :/

It makes cupcakes prettier. And it tastes good. It's like a cupcakes lip stick.

Also like lip stick, you shouldn't try to make your own. At least I shouldn't (I'm talking about frosting now.)

Because I can not make frosting. Just can't. As was evident in my latest adventure, frosting.

The picture on the recipe's page showed a fluffy, light textured creation that sat atop the cupcake like a crown.

It was obviously a picture filled with deceit and lies.

Maybe you'll do better than I did. I don't know. I'm too depressed about this frosting to give hopeful comments.

Might as well get on with this (sigh).

Things you'll need (for failure);

4 large egg whites

1 cup granulated sugar

1 pinch of salt

1 tsps vanilla

First thing you'll obviously want to do is get those egg whites. My mom's friend showed me a handy trick where you use an empty water bottle to suction cup the yolk up out of the white (go check it out on Youtube!), but the water bottles were all the way upstairs and I was downstairs and this whole shin dig with the frosting was kind of on a whim so I just said "ENOUGH OF THAT SILLINESS. I'M TALENTED ENOUGH BY NOW TO DO THIS MYSELF!"

Not so.

Maybe this is where I went wrong, but there were some yolk in the whites :/ BUT ONLY A LITTLE! And I didn't stress out too much about it because I didn't think it was enough to damage anything.

But anyway, egg whites. Make sure there isn't any yolk.

Then mix those with everything except the vanilla in a metal bowl. You're going to have to place the mixed contents in a bowl over a pot of simmering water, so that's why I say metal.

Put the mixed stuff in the bowl over a pot of simmering water and CONSTANTLY whisk it. You must do thins until it is hot to the touch.

Maybe this was another point where I went wrong. I had been whisking this thing for 15 minutes before I said "YOU KNOW WHAT, THAT, DEAR SIR, IS AS HOT AS I'M LETTING THIS MIXTURE GET."

My arms were about ready to fall off!

So then you're supposed to put the mixture into a bowl and beat it with an electric mixture for 3 minutes, adding the vanilla in the process.

At the end of three minutes, it was supposed to look like marshmallow frosting.

Mmm-hmm.

Fluffy as a newborn kitten.

And that's after 5 minutes of beating.

I was really frustrated, so I just put them on some store brand peanut butter cookies (we didn't have anything to make cupcakes) and called it a day. I also made it purple, in an attempt to cheer myself up. It didn't really work :/